So the night after my date with Mr. A, I met Mr. C.
We decided to go bowling, although to be honest, my heart really wasn’t into it.
There were a few moments during our conversations that made me uncomfortable. He asked me so many questions during one email exchange that I felt like I was answering a job application.
And he was trying to flirt. And he was bad at it.
You know, I am all for the flirty banter and the sexy talk, but usually after there’s been a first meet. He just jumped right in and made a comment about showing up naked to the date.
Um… no. Just…. No. No. No. Nay-nay.
We talked a little about being nervous to meet, but I told him that we are just two friends meeting to bowl, to have a drink, and to have some laughs. No more, no less.
Then he asked about kissing.
I mean, seriously?
I told him that he would know if the time was right for a kiss. That I would be flirting with him. He would know if I was flirting with him.
I left in plenty of time. It was a good thing, too – the parking lot was packed. It was the Friday night before Halloween and I guess everyone else had the same idea, to hit the lanes for some fun with balls.
I arrived and looked around for Mr. C but didn’t see him. Then, I spotted him coming down the stairs from the upper level.
No spark. But that’s just a first sight.
Then I called his name, he turned around and smiled.
And still no spark. Not that he was ugly, he looked exactly like his photos.
But it seemed he had… no personality.
He greeted me, shook my hand, and that’s when I saw it.
Oh HELL no.
The man bites his nails.
Down to the stubs. Dry, scaly skin on his fingers… nubby ragged nails…
Nope. Nope. Nopity-nope nope. Nay-nay.
Looking at chewed fingers makes me nauseous. I see people with them at work and I am loath to use the same pen they do. They put their hands in their mouths on purpose!!!!
These fingers were nasty. And then I imagined him putting his hands on me….
Putting those fingers inside me….
NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!
But to be polite, we sat at the bar. I paid for the drinks.
We chatted. Well… we tried to. I found the conversation a little lacking. What did I expect? All our email conversations were about my answering all his questions.
They called our lane so we went off to bowl. I sucked. But I did better in the second game. But since he bowls three nights a week… he beat me all three games.
After our game was over we went and sat downstairs to chat some more. We sat on a couch and chatted for a bit, then I excused myself to go to the washroom.
While I was in there, my phone lit up with a text message. It read, “I don’t know if you are flirting or not. :(”
Seriously. The guy sends me a text while I am in the washroom.
I ignored it. I returned to my seat and we chatted some more. Finally he said, ‘so, what do you think?”
This was it. For the first time, I was about to tell someone I wasn’t interested in moving forward. What to say? How do I do it?
“I don’t know about you,” I began, “but I’m just not feeling it. You are a really nice guy, I enjoy talking to you but …. I just don’t think we’ll be more than friends.”
Now thankfully this was not as bad as when Lisa Simpson crushed Ralph Wiggum’s heart at the Krusty The Clown show, but I still felt awful.
(Oh bite me. It works in this situation.)
I told him I wasn’t sure I was even ready to date. That maybe it’s me. Maybe I am just not ready to put myself out there fully. (You might think this was all bullshit but I was actually being a little honest here.) That he was a great guy, and maybe I just wasn’t ready to move forward yet.
He seemed to accept that; we continued to talk about dating and online experiences for almost another hour. Finally it was late, and I was exhausted.
We walked out side and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I had parked around the back of the building, way in the boonies, but he was right out front. He turned after the hug and headed to his car.
Bastard. Always walk a girl to her car, even if she has just rejected you!
I walked all around the building to the very back of the lot to retrieve my car. I drove home.
I haven’t heard from him since.
Was I too harsh? Should I have given him a chance?
We all have our deal breakers. Some people have a list. I never knew that this would be one for me – even though it’s a habit I find disgusting, I have never met anyone who bites their nails to this point.
So that was it for me. I still see him online, and I see he changed his profile a little, but now it just sounds harsh.
I hope that’s not because of me.
Since Mr. C, I didn’t meet anyone new. I saw Mr. D a few times, and I had two booty calls with Mr. J. I was the instigator, I was feeling a little down and I knew he would help my ego, and he did.
This is shaping up to be a busy week…. last Friday I met with Mr. K (who lives less than five minutes walk from my house) for a drink. Second date is tomorrow night.
Mr. RJ, who I am meeting this evening.
And Mr. J2 (same name as Mr. J AND he lives in the same ‘burb) on Thursday. Mr. J2 kind of looks like Paul Rudd (in my opinion), and I have been crushing on Paul Rudd since he was Josh.
Swoon! Such a Baldwin.
I was supposed to meet Mr. J2 about ten days ago, but I cancelled at the last-minute. At the time, things were moving ahead with Mr. D, so I was honest and told him that I had started seeing someone and wouldn’t feel right about meeting him.
He was a nice guy. He thanked me for the message and wished me luck.
The real reason was that I had a bout of depression at the time and the thought of meeting yet another man… it was just depressing me.
So I cancelled.
Then yesterday I re-read his profile and thought… what the hell. If I don’t ask, the answer is always no.
So I sent him an email and asked if he was still interested in meeting. He replied, ‘life is too short, sure we can get together.”
So after some switching up (I was originally seeing Mr. RJ on Thursday but moved him to tonight) we are meeting on Thursday. It’s difficult for men with kids to make plans so I am always willing to do what I can to help make it happen.
So tonight is Mr. RJ – and I will be honest, not sure I am feeling it with him either. But I will give him a chance – a fair chance.
Tomorrow is Mr. K – and as this is a second date… well… it might be a late night.
Then Thursday is Mr. J2. Probably at the same place I will be meeting Mr. RJ.
Is that wrong?
Thankfully this weekend I’m headed to the outlets for some shopping and girl time with my Bestie… maybe she can help me make some sense out of things.
The one thing I like is Mr. K made it clear that he is dating several people at the same time, meaning he is not necessarily looking for a solid relationship right now.
The big question is why do I gravitate towards that? Am I afraid of being hurt again, so I purposefully choose to spend my time with a lot of people so I don’t develop feelings for any one man? So I don’t get hurt?
Or am I just selfish in wanting to be with as many men as I can, so I don’t feel so lonely? To boost my self-confidence?
Too many thoughts for a Tuesday morning….