(Warning – this gets a little graphic near the end… apologies in advance)
Hello loyal followers!
No, I have not fallen down, unable to get up.
I’ve been busy.
I’v been … dare I say it?
Really and truly happy.
Mr. J2 and I are coming up on eight months together.
And it’s been wonderful.
In May I took a short vacation with my brother to DC. It was a good – but not great – trip.
Part of it was the heat… part of it was…
I missed Mr. J2.
(Pathetic, I know)
We’ve been spending more time together – if that’s at all possible. We took a weekend to visit his father and brothers, along with the kids. It was a great experience as it was my first road trip with the kids and Mr. J2.
The kids seem to like me – they chatter incessantly when I first show up. And we’ve started increasing the sleepovers little by little, and the kids seem fine with it.
We all seem pretty fine with it.
I think the biggest change when I move in with them in the Fall will be with me. I will have to figure out my role within their family dynamic. Unlike my last experience, I won’t necessarily be a step-mother, and I don’t see the children really needing one. Mom is very active and present in their lives which is great. But at the same time then I wonder exactly where I will fall. For example, The Daughter has joined Facebook. She sent me a friend request, which of course I accepted. She likes a status or one of my photos here and there, or shares something I’ve posted… but I try not to tag or post to her profile. I did post some photos from the weekend road trip but I did not tag her in any of those photos. She can see them as we are friends, but I figured if she wants to tag herself, she can do it.
Part of my reasoning is that Mom is also one of her Facebook friends, and whenever Mom tags The Daughter in a post, I see it. And call me crazy but I don’t want to put The Daughter in the middle that way by tagging her in my stuff.
Not because I am not proud and happy to know her… but because I respect her privacy. And in a small way, I want to keep some stuff private from Mom, even though there is no way she can see anything on my profile other than my profile photos.
Is it awkward? Not really. I am trying very hard for it not to be. I still wish she would back off a little with Mr. J2 – I am shallow enough to admit that I find her constant messaging to him to be excessive in some cases.
But that is my issue, and I have to learn to accept it.
The same way I have to accept moving into a house with a ghost.
But I think, over time, that ghost will fade. Mr. J2 is trying very hard, as am I, to change things enough so it doesn’t seem so much like I am replacing someone.
Which, let’s face it – is exactly what is happening.
Maybe not ‘replacing’ exactly as I will never be the mother of his children, and probably never his wife.
But I see the residual ghost, here and there.
And then there are the times when I will be washing dishes, or watering the plants outdoors and I will see Mr. J2 with small smile on his lips say to me, “I love you Miss Anonymous”.
And my heart swells, because I know it’s because he is content. He is happy. He knows we are in a good place and that we are good together.
Because we are good together.
Especially in the sex department.
A few weeks ago he told me I had just given him “the best orgasm” of his life.
Who knew I had such a talent?
Well, it’s easy to enjoy sex with someone who… well… enjoys sex.
Who enjoys pleasing as much as the other person does. Someone who knows that it’s okay to ‘take one for the team’ and make it all about the other person once in a while.
And what that man does to me…. he kisses me and two seconds and I am ready to go. He barely touches me and I’m gone.
He’s made my body do things it’s never done before.
And while I might not be able to say I’ve had the best orgasm of my life (although who the hell am I kidding – I’ve lost track of how many with him that I probably have had the best of my life) I can honestly say it’s been the best sex of my life.
Partly because I’ve grown as a woman and as a sexual being – to know what I like. To know how to have three different kinds of orgasms.
I also am not afraid to tell him what I want.
For example, on Saturday I was feeling a little low. Not sure why – no real reason.
So I asked Mr. J2 if it could be about me that night.
So when he arrived home from work I greeted him wearing a sexy black dress that hugged my curves.
And nothing on underneath.
Now – he didn’t know that, but I did. And for me, that was an incredible turn on.
We sat and chatted. We had some wine. We had some dinner. We watched a movie.
And as we watched the movie, his hand may grazed a special place of mine.
And found me completely wet and ready for him.
That’s just how it is with him. I don’t need wooing. I don’t need lube or toys (both of which we use and have fun with) to have incredibly hot, passionate, amazing sex with him.
I just need to be next to him. On a couch. Watching a movie.
It was one of the hottest experiences ever. To hear his gentle laugh of surprise at finding me wet and ready for him just added to my pleasure.
What followed was another one of our marathon sex sessions. Couch to bedroom…. all the while U2’s The Joshua Tree played in the background.
All I know is that I barely heard the music – I was a little pre-occupied at the time.
But when we finished, all was quiet. The album had finished playing. We were both sated.
And again I had lost count of the number of orgasms I’d had.
(I’m sorry if it seems like I am bragging.)
But given that both Mr. J2 and I have been in a relationship/marriage where the sex had deteriorated… it makes me happy to know that we are still going strong.
Will it fade? Probably. I’m sure, especially after I move in, that the frequency will fade a little.
But so long as the desire remains, and we make sure to have our special in-house ‘date nights’ like we did on Saturday – then I don’t think we have anything to worry about.
It’s about fucking time.