I will never again doubt Mr. J2.
I’m sorry for the panicked post yesterday – I read way too much into the text.
The interaction Mr. J2 had with The Ex was the usual. She wants the kids on Easter Sunday to spend the day with her mom.
Even though that day is not her weekend. She has the kids Good Friday and Saturday, then it’s Mr. J2 who takes them Saturday afternoon, Sunday and Monday.
But she thinks because he had them at Thanksgiving she should get them this weekend.
Nope. Thanksgiving was his weekend. Tough titty said the kitty when the milk was warm.
But she had to go on and on and about how he was punishing her for “doing something for herself” (read: leaving the marriage), and blames her for ending the marriage.
Fine. Mr. J2 accepts some responsibility for problems in the marriage, even though he did change to accommodate her wishes, but she ultimately walked out and left him. So, technically… she did END the marriage. (Imagine, you ask a man to change and he does. And you still aren’t happy. Problem isn’t with him honey, it’s with you.)
But she doesn’t want to be the bad guy. Fine. Whatever.
Then she had to go and really piss Mr. J2 off, by saying that she’s “glad” he is happy (she totally isn’t) but said that he just “found someone to fill the void”.
Fuck you, lady. (Demolition Man. Love that movie.)
He is not using me to ‘fill the void’. Mr. J2 told her that in no uncertain terms. (Besides, what is her boyfriend if not a replacement for her husband?)
I had a hard time containing myself. So many things I wanted to say.
I wanted to say: “Yeah, honey… it would take three of me to fill the big gaping void you left”
I wanted to say: “yes, he fills the void every night… sometimes three times a day that void is filled.”
I wanted to say: “he loves filling the void. Best void filling of his life”
But I said nothing. I let Mr. J2 talk. And talk. And the more he talked… the more I realized how much he has come to dislike her. I won’t use the word hate, as this woman is still the mother of his children. But he is seeing her selfishness and bitterness and all the negative stuff coming out.
Then he said something I never thought I would hear him say.
The Daughter was talking about how she thinks Mom will never take The Boyfriend’s name. Now, we are not sure if this is just The Daughter postulating, or if indeed things have progressed to the point that they are actually discussing those issues in front of the kids.
Regardless, when Mr. J2 mentioned that to me, he said that the next time he spoke with her and things were getting heated, he would tell her to just go ahead and change her name back to her maiden name.
“Because at this point,” he said to me, “I really don’t want her to have my name and be associated with me”.
Yeah. This he said stone cold sober.
This man is a family man. Having his wife take his name was very important to him. He never imagined himself divorced. He’s very old fashioned in that way.
So to hear him say that he wants her to take back her maiden name was a big deal.
Through all this, I kept my cool. I listened. I told him I was proud of him for not giving in to her demands. To not letting her have her way.
As it stands anyway, he has planned to take The Daughter to see his family over Easter – The Boy has hockey so he would have to stay behind. Meaning that The Ex would have one child with her for her family dinner.
Do you think she thanked him for letting the kids stay with her for two days of March break even though it was his week with them?
Nope. Just I want, I want, I want.
He even bought up the key issue.
He told her that if she has a key to his house then he should have one to hers.
“But it’s just a rental” she said by way of explanation.
WTF does that mean?
But it’s the inability for her to let go.
I suggested that he do what she did: when he is on holidays next week, he should pack his car with boxes of her stuff, then go over there with The Boy (who can let him in) and drop the boxes off in her garage. Then maybe the next day do it again.
Because my only issue with moving into that house in October is knowing The Ex has a key. If nothing changes by that time I am going to ask him to perhaps change the lock and give new keys to the kids. Call me old-fashioned, but it creeps me out thinking The Ex can walk into MY HOME anytime she wants. Will she? Not likely. She will keep snooping when she is there with the kids.
But it does make me uncomfortable because at that point it will be my home too. I might not own it, but I will be living in it and making it a happy home with Mr. J2 and the kids.
Chew on that, will you.
So I think now I know that Mr. J2 will never go back to her. They can never repair the damage she inflicted with her lies and her selfishness.
But her loss is totally, absolutely… and happily my gain.