Uh Oh

Just got a text from Mr. J2.

He wrote: ” just had an interesting interaction with The Ex. Tell you about it later.”

I replied: “Hi…Good one I hope.”

He wrote back: “Not really.”

What can I say other than, “I’m sorry.”

Fuck. I am so scared that she told him that she wants him back… and now he feels guilty, or sad. Even though he has told me time and again that he would never go back to her, if she wants him back – or even tells him how sad she is that he is moving on… he’s going to be hurt. And in pain.

And it kills me that I have a part in that. In his having to say no to her.

Or worse – if he says yes to her.

I am so scared of what he is going to tell me.

Even though he has told me how happy I make him, and how much he loves me… and that he is so glad he met me….

I still have this innate fear that she will always have a hold on him. Yes, they were together for almost 20 years. They have a family together. Even though it went sour at the end, they did have some good times together.

But hot sex doesn’t cancel out a family and a long history together.

At least… I really hope it doesn’t.

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