On Monday evening Mr. J2 asked me to go to his house after work. We were going to have dinner and hang out, as we usually do on the week he doesn’t have his kids. I have a key, so after running a few errands, I arrived at his place just before five pm.
At ten after five, I was in the kitchen washing dishes. Yes, I wash his dishes. Why? Because his crappy shifts, of which he has no control over, force him to leave the house at 5:10 am, return home at 9:30 am for a nap and some food, then depart again by noon to be at his next shift by 12:30 pm. So the dishes left from his breakfast shake and his lunch are usually left to do, so rather than just sit there like a lump, I made myself useful and washed his meager dishes.
At five-fifteen, the doorbell rang. I could see a car on the street, but given that this house is not mine, I did not answer the door. A minute later, it opened, and the daughter walked in.
“Hi!” she said. “We just have to get some stuff we forgot” she said.
“Hi!” I said back. “Go ahead!”.
So both the son and daughter went about their business getting what was forgotten while The Ex was still in the car.
Thank GOD I had already met the kids last week. Can you imagine if they had no idea who I was? In they come, to the house they grew up in, and a strange woman is at the sink washing dishes? “Just the housekeeper!” I could have yelled, lol.
So after about ten minutes they collected what was missing and left. No drama. Nothing to indicate they were unhappy with me being there. A polite goodbye and they were gone.
I texted Mr. J2 to tell him what occurred. He apologized profusely and told me that the ex was supposed to drive the kids over right after school at 3:30 – not almost two hours later.
“Well it will just make her respect my time more” was what he said when we discussed it later.
Here’s the thing – The Ex of course texted him to tell him what happened. And I think we are going to have some issues in the next few months.
In my rant earlier this year, I mentioned how I think she wants to keep him close by; that even though she wanted ‘new’ again, I think she can’t let go of ‘old’ too easily.
(I can’t blame her for that – I can’t imagine letting him go now that I have him.)
But it’s more than that – it was the fact that she said something to him to the effect of, “I’m so glad you are happy”.
Are you? Are you really? Or are you just fishing for information?
Personally, as a woman who doesn’t know this other woman, I see this two ways: she wants him to be happy because if he is happy, then it means that she can live with a little less guilt for hurting him and ending a 19-year relationship. Or, she sees that he is happy with someone else and starts to re-think the relationship. And then wonders if maybe… just maybe… things were not as bad as she thought they were.
Here’s the only thing I don’t understand about her: I know what it’s like to be unhappy in a marriage. I truly do. And I know how hard it is to end one. I truly do.
But, if you tell your husband and anyone else who will listen that you don’t want to live with anyone anymore… that you need ‘new’ in your life…. wouldn’t you then set yourself up on a dating website and date a lot of people? To get out there, to meet tons of new men, have lots of new experiences, to really have a lot of ‘new’.
But not her. She reconnected with someone from her past and has been with him since April.
She didn’t mean ‘new’. She meant ‘different than her husband”.
And that’s okay. She can have all the different she wants.