He Said It First

I met up with Mr. J2 last night at the food court of a local mall. We just had a hot chocolate, talked, and did a few errands.

We were talking about tonight – I am going over to his place after work to make dinner for us. I plan to have it all ready by the time he gets home.

He again brought up the subject of having a key made for me. I kind of brushed him off, saying something like, ‘well there’s no need for that right yet,” or something to that effect.

Then, he said, “yes there is. You do know that I fell in love with you, don’t you?”

Yes, he said it. He put it all out there.

And I couldn’t say it back. Not yet, anyway.

I am planning to reveal the secrets of my past to him tonight. The secrets of three marriages and three divorces.

I don’t think it will change how he feels about me, but I can’t be sure. Maybe he will think I am flighty; that I am careless about commitment. That I don’t stick with things, that I am too quick to get out when things get tough.

What I hope will happen is that he will kiss me, hug me, and tells me that it doesn’t matter to him because he loves me.

That’s what I hope will happen. Because I love him.

Dammit.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s