I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up if I Tried

Last night was date #2 with Mr. RJ.

For those of you playing along at home, he is the one that I went out with a week ago and wasn’t sure if I felt any sparks. But he was consistently keeping in touch with messages and so I felt he deserved a second date. He wasn’t pushy with the sex comments, asking for nude photos or making me feel awkward. So I felt I owed it to him to try another date to see if it’s worth taking it further.

We agree to meet at the same pub we met at the week before. I arrived twenty minutes early, as traffic during rush hour can be dicey, and I wanted to give myself lots of time.

I am seated by the window. Not two minutes later, I look outside and who do I see but Mr. J walking by. We make eye contact. He comes inside, and everyone knows his name. He comes to see me, we hug, we talk for a bit. He is heading out later himself but stopped in for a glass of wine.

Now Mr. J and I went out about six or seven weeks ago for the first time. I knew when I met him that we would not be good as a couple. I personally think he has a slight drinking problem, and if I am in a relationship with someone, I want my man to come home to me after work, not to stop at the bar for a drink first. But he is a nice guy, and I have come to enjoy his friendship, and his insights into the world of dating.

As we are talking his phone rings, he steps away to take it. He seats himself at the bar with his wine, and I start reading. Then just before he leaves Mr. RJ arrives, just on time.

My date begins with Mr. RJ just as Mr. J is leaving, with a wave and a nod and he is gone. I explain to Mr. RJ who I had waved to, and we begin our date.

And it goes fine. Really it does. He’s a nice guy. I enjoy listening to his stories about work and travel.

But there is no zing. Nothing that makes me think, “I want to feel him on top of me, naked”.

We order dinner. We both have the fish and chips and while this place is well known for it… I am slightly disappointed in it. It was okay, but the fish in Ireland was ten times better.

But I digress…

Our meal is cleared and we continue chatting. About travel. Kids and cellphones. Work.

The usual stuff.

Then my eyes move over his left shoulder and I see a family of four at a table enjoying dinner. Two kids. Two men. Obviously father, two kids, grandfather.

The Father is in my direct line of sight.

I squint.

And I realize that it’s Mr. J2.


How does that quote go? Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, [he] walks into mine.

I don’t know if he noticed me.

But I noticed him. And I could not stop staring.

I half listened to my date talk about kids and travel.

But I could not stop looking at Mr. J2.

I was distracted. I admit it. At first, it was trying to figure out if in fact it was him.

Then after I realized that it was… I couldn’t stop looking. Like a trainwreck.

OMG, did he notice me?

So I tried to scoot over to the left of my seat to be blocked by my date. To hide.

But then I couldn’t see Mr. J2, so I moved back.

I continued to half listen to my date. I focused on what he was saying. I participated in the conversation as best I could…

But by this point I realized that if I was distracted by someone else, there was definitely no chance that my date and I would have a third date.

I tried to buckle down and focus. We started talking about Star Wars. He’s started watching the movies with his kids in anticipation of the new movie. I told him that in my world the series begins and ends with Episode 4, 5, 6.

1, 2, and 3 never happened.

As we are talking about the movies, I notice Mr. J2 and his family leave the pub.


But the damage is done.

It’s almost eight. Time to go home. Mr. RJ calls the waiter for the bill.

‘Separate checks’ he tells him.

Okay. So that’s how this is going.

We pay our bills. We put on our coats.

We walk outside. I ask where his car is – he tells me “it’s over here’. I point across the lot and say, “well I’m over there”.

He says, ‘okay, well take care”, and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, you too,” I say as I walk to my car.

Now, guys… no matter what, even if there is no connection or anything…. always walk a girl to her car. You might get another hug – or even a kiss- at the door.

I got into my car and said, ‘nope. Not happening.”

I drove home. All I could think about was seeing Mr. J2 there with his family.

I mean seriously, what are the odds? That on a random Tuesday night, he would be at the same place as me?

At home, I debated texting Mr. J2.

Since we met last Thursday for dinner, we’ve sent random emails through the day, and usually at night, just before bed, we exchange a text or two.

But I had to know if he saw me.

And if he did… I had to let him know that my date was over.

So I texted him: Goodnight! I look forward to receiving tomorrow’s wake up weather forecast. 🙂

(This is because early that morning, Mr J2 had texted me to tell me about the snow on the ground.)

He responded, and we texted back and forth a bit and then I had to do it, so I wrote: “How was dinner? :)”

A few minutes later he responded, “Dinner was good :)”

Okay. Now… does he know that I saw him/did he see me?

We back and forth for a bit and finally I tell him that I was distracted for most of the night because I couldn’t stop looking at someone sitting in the back of the pub.

And then I find out that yes, he saw me there as well, but tells me he recognized me only as he was leaving.

Hmmmm…. good thing or bad thing? I wonder.

And then it comes in: do you want to go out again?

And so I reply: With you? Very much so.

Just to clarify he is not asking if I want to go out with anyone else I add: with tonight’s date? No.

(Sorry Mr. RJ)

He asks if I am available Saturday night – but says he understands if I already have plans.

I do not have plans. Well, I do… but I am changing them.

So we agree to do something on Saturday night, just not sure what yet. Still plenty of time to decide that.

And in the midst of all these texts from Mr. J2, one comes in from Mr. RJ.

“Hi. I had a good time tonight, but I get the feeling you are still hesitant?”

Very perceptive Mr RJ.

So today I will send Mr. RJ an email saying that I enjoyed meeting him, and I do enjoy his company and talking with him and listening to his stories, but that I just don’t feel that spark, that connection between us.

What else can I do? It’s obvious my mind was on someone else while I was on a date with him.

In the course of two hours, I run into / see three men I’ve dated or slept with in the last two weeks.

I know they say it’s a small world, but this is ridiculous!

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried…





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