So Many Men… So Little Time (literally in this case)

What a whirlwind week this has been.

I’ve had three dates in three days – definitely not something I am used to.

Try to keep up now, here we go.

Tuesday evening I met Mr. RJ. Nice guy. We met, had a drink, talked for a couple of hours about everything and anything. He works in the government doing Lean work – and I think he was shocked when I told him I knew all about Lean initiatives. (If you don’t know it’s a fancy word for streamlining your business processes to save time and money.)

He was pleasant to look at. Tall, well-built. We talked about travel, his kids (he didn’t over do it on the kid talk so that was good) and the usual other topics people discuss on a first date.

He paid for the drinks, and we left. A hug goodbye at the car and we were off.

He sent a ‘I had a great time” text to me before I had even returned home.

There was nothing wrong with him; honestly, I am sure he is a great catch. I just don’t know if there was a spark… and maybe that is my issue. How do you know if there is a spark or not? Other than The Nail Biter, I really haven’t had any real feelings of unease or disinterest towards any man I’ve been out with. They have – knock on wood – all been pleasant and good company.

He’s already sent me an email asking to see me next week, and I am not sure if I want to or not.

On Wednesday, it was date two with Mr. K. Former military man, retired, now online travel consultant.

I met him at his house since he lives a five-minute walk from me. Definitely convenient.

After some tries to get Netflix to work on his television we ended up watching a movie on demand. It was an okay movie, nothing spectacular. We had a few drinks.

Since this was the second date, there were some expectations… at least on my part. We had texted and flirted about ‘cooking together’ so I went to his house expecting to have sex.

It started off by kissing… as it usually does. And he is nothing if not an… interesting kisser.

He’s a sucker. And my that I mean he loved to suck my tongue as we kissed. It was weird. Definitely something new for me.

And after about two hours of making out on the couch – with a water break – it was 1:45 am and it was a school night. I sat up and said, ‘okay, so we either have to pick up the pace and move things along or I need to go home to sleep.”

Mr. K kindly said he didn’t want to pressure me into anything, but definitely wanted to move things along.

We stood up and started to make out again… oh yes, I could definitely feel his interest.

We moved up to the bedroom. He had candles (battery-powered) and music already playing. Nice touch.

We got into bed and made out some more. And then… well he put all that sucking to good use.

Twice.

The sex itself was pretty good. He had no issues wearing a condom, and the act itself was pretty quick. Maybe I’m greedy but after I’ve had an oral orgasm or two, I don’t want intercourse to go on for hours. Fifteen minutes and maybe a couple of position changes and I’m a happy camper. He definitely enjoyed this part of the evening, and made sure I knew it. He had no issues letting me know just how much. Loudly.

At this point it’s 3:00 AM and I have to be up in just over three hours. So we cuddle for a bit, then get dressed and even though I live within walking distance, he drove me home.

I managed to get some sleep and felt pretty good the next day. The sex was good, it was a little gentle, a little rough… if I could just tone down the sucking on my tongue thing he does, I think could be really good. And you can’t beat the commute.

I was exhausted by noon on Thursday so I took a couple of hours off work to go home and nap. I had another date Thursday evening and I didn’t want to be dragging my ass the whole time because I really like the guy I was meeting – at least, on paper/email.

(I don’t normally take time off work to recuperate from late sex nights, I had some time owing and it seemed as good a time as any to take it.)

I napped on and off for a couple of hours, then got ready for my date with Mr. J2.

Mr. J2 first messaged me on Halloween. We chatted back and forth for a bit, and I was smitten as soon as I saw his photo. If Paul Rudd and Edward Burns ever pooled their genes, the result would be Mr. J2. Tall-ish, dark hair… forehead and eyes are Paul Rudd, nose and mouth and chin is Edward Burns. Yum.

We had made plans to meet earlier this month but I cancelled on him when I started to get serious with Mr. D. And, to be honest, I was feeling really down at the time. My depression was starting to show, and so I didn’t feel worthy of meeting anyone new. After I ended things with Mr. D I emailed Mr. J2 and asked if he was still interested. He accepted, and I’m glad he did.

We were to meet for drinks but as I knew he was only finishing work at 6 and had to change and drive to where we were meeting, I suggested we have dinner as opposed to just drinks. He seemed happy with that change. Good.

I arrived early, and thankfully the restaurant was quiet. It was unusual for this particular restaurant – usually it’s always busy, but at this time it was a bonus as we didn’t have to scream to be heard.

I was shown to my table and the guy asked how I was doing and if the table was good. I replied, “well I’m meeting someone for a first date so hopefully it goes well.” (I’m chatty, what can I say?)

He replied, “well if it doesn’t work out, give me a call.”

Seriously? Thursdays are a great night for me to be hit on while waiting for a date. No shit.

So I replied, “thanks, I might just do that. Although you do have my number since I made the reservation.”

He smiled and said, ‘deal’, then headed off to continue working.

So I waited a few more minutes until Mr. J2 showed up. I waved at him from my table and he joined me.

He looked exactly like his photos, thank goodness.

He sat. We started talking. He ordered a beer, I ordered a Sommersby.

And we kept talking.

We took a break to order dinner.

And we kept talking.

The only time we were silent was when the food came. I had been praising the lasagna, but he had General Tao’s chicken. I had the lasagna – I ALWAYS get the lasagna at this place.

He tried mine, I tasted his… both were excellent.

And we kept on talking.

He’s very animated. He smiles a lot. He said I look better in person than I do in my photos.

Flattery will get you everywhere, my friend.

We talked about marriages, dating, relationships.. and his kids.

He is very much a hands-on father, and his kids are 12 and 14. He basically said that they are his hobby because of his schedule he doesn’t get to see them much during the week – when he has them he gets home from work around 7-ish so he sees them a couple of hours before they go to bed. He’s into hockey and skating.

He seems completely normal and drama free.

From what I can tell… he is the quintessential ‘nice guy’.

We could have kept on chatting but he made a point to say that he had to be home by 11 for bed – he works driving transport (hence the long shifts) and has to be ready to go at 6am, so he’s usually up by 5:15 am.

When the check came, I reached for it. He was genuinely shocked but my reasoning was this, “who says the guy always has to pay? I am happy you agreed to meet me after I cancelled on you the first time, and I suggested dinner instead of just drinks. I am happy to pick up a check once in a while.”

So I paid the check, we drank some water and chatted some more, then we finally (regretfully?) had to head out.

He had parked right next to me, so we stood by the cars talking for a little longer. He said he had a great time and once again thanked me for paying for dinner. I once again thanked him for coming out with me.

We hugged. While no second date was officially set up, when we were inside talking about skating, he said he would be happy to skate with me someday. I had asked him not to laugh at me, and he said that no, he wouldn’t laugh, he would help me up (if I fell).

All together now…. awwwwwwwww….

We got in our vehicles and drove away. As I was just getting into bed a text came in. The “I had a really great time tonight, and I enjoyed talking with you” from Mr. J2.

So what’s a girl to do? This whole experience is completely new to me. There are two other men showing interest – we’ve moved to email vs. dating site chats.

How does one narrow down the options? And should I?

Mr. J: We hang out and talk and have great sex. We met about six weeks ago, but I am not sure that I can see myself in a real relationship with him. I think he drinks just a little too much and likes to go out a little too much. Likes to travel. No kids, doesn’t want any. Close to his family. We talk a lot about dating and relationships and have shared some pretty deep stuff.

Mr. K: Definitely potential there. Proximity is great. Sex is pretty great. Kids. 7 and 10 so still a little young. Also likes to travel. Was honest and up front about dating a bunch of people and not being monogamous until dating turns into something more.

Mr. RJ: This one I’m waffling on. There was nothing absolutely wrong with him. He was nice. Respectful. Funny. Complimentary. Loves to travel. Has two kids, they are tween/teens. Talked about wants in a relationship.  Told me I am the sweetest girl he’s ever met. (Apparently he doesn’t know me very well) There were no signs saying STOP! but there were also not any real signs saying GO! either. I’m on the fence as to whether or not go for a second date.

Mr. J2: Nice guy. Blue collar – not that it’s an issue for me. Cute. Smiley. Laughs a lot – at least when I tell stories he laughs. Had no issues with any conversation.  Two kids, very involved in hockey and skating and really enjoys his kids. But also enjoys going out and being social when he doesn’t have his kids. Was with his wife for 21 years. He did let me know that he had his ‘rebound’ right after his marriage ended. And he is dating and social and enjoys that aspect of it. Would definitely like to see him again. We did hit on porn and threesomes and sex… but it was all in good context and not over the top.

Then from another site there is another freaking Mr. J – we have moved to text and email but he’s a one-email a day kind of thing, not really a good way to keep the conversation flowing. But also not a bad guy, at least by email. Has two girls, twins, 7 years old.

Then from another site there is Mr. R. We’ve emailed long messages back and forth for a few days now. I’ve just given him my email address so we’ll see how that goes, but so far, it seems to be going well. He’s asked to meet next weekend (I am assuming no kids next weekend) but I am not really available since I will again be out-of-town on Saturday. Not sure yet about Sunday plans.

I haven’t been on the dating sites for a few days and to be honest, I can’t handle any more than this. For the first time in my life I am dating a lot and having a lot of sex. I’m picky – I don’t say yes to every man and not everyone gets a second date (sorry Nail Biter), but even I am starting to realize that this might be more than I can handle.

How do people do it? How do they date multiple people (provided everyone knows so no one gets hurt) and keep it all together?

For the first time I am going to ask: how many is too many? And should Mr. RJ get a second date or should I just quit while I am ahead?

Oy. Thank goodness I am away this weekend on a girl’s trip. Maybe I can clear my head and see where my heart and mind goes this weekend… who I think about and, sadly, who I don’t.

 

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2 thoughts on “So Many Men… So Little Time (literally in this case)

  1. First, I think when there is chemistry, you know it. But if it’s been awhile since the big spark, it’s easy to forget what it is like to have that chemistry. But if you’re questioning chemistry, I suspect it’s not there (easy for me to say). Second, for me, dating more than one guy has allowed me to focus on their positives and ignore negatives. I figure if something is meant to get more serious, I’ll gravitate to thinking about them more than the others. But right now, you don’t (seem) to be there with any of these guys…so, set up dates with whoever mentions they want to see you first. If you find yourself thinking that you wished you didn’t have something set up with x b/c y just asked you out, then you sort of know which one you’re more interested in and maybe should prioritize. Just my 2 cents 🙂

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