Making Up for Lost Time

Well it’s been an eventful few weeks, what can I say?

Mr. D is no longer in my life.

Things were going well. I thought they were. We were talking all the time, going out to eat, staying in to watch movies and hang out. (Netflix and Chill is what the kids call it these days  I think.)

He talked to me about his work issues. And his issues with his ex – with whom he was still sharing a house.

He talked about the future. Our future. Going away at Christmas. Spending weekends together.

But then I still saw him on the dating website all the time.

All. The. Time.

Now, I had told him that until he was completely free, I was not going to be exclusive because he was not, completely free. Things could backfire at any time and I didn’t want to become emotionally invested in someone only to have him change his mind or to not be free for six, eight, or twelve months because they can’t sell a house.

Been there, done that. See this summer with Mr. R.

So after a couple of days of seeing him online a lot, we talked about it. And he again asked why I was there, and I reminded him of what I told him. He talked a bit about how we were ‘there to keep an eye on each other’.

Say what? Um, no.

Now, he is allowed, if you will, to seek out and date anyone he wants. But not if he is talking about a future with me.

You want to me with me that’s fine but don’t keep looking if you want to be in a relationship. That’s my bottom line there.

So I sent him an email that said ‘I see you are fishing a lot these days, good luck.’

And he responded with, ‘what, you think I am doing a lot of fishing and that’s why I haven’t responded to you?”

So I wrote back, ‘no, I know you are doing a lot of fishing. I can see it. Good luck’

And that’s the last I heard from him. On Thursday.

It’s just not worth my time to always be wondering. If we were to make it official, I would always wonder if he was online, looking at other women. Dating other women on his days off.

Too much like Mr. R from summer of 2012 who used me for a place to live and then cheated on me. No thank you.

So I am moving on. It turns out, there really ARE a lot of fish in the sea, you just have to know how to find them.


2 thoughts on “Making Up for Lost Time

  1. Olivia Black says:

    There really are a lot of fish in the sea, and the right one is somewhere out there waiting for you, but the problem is that we fall in love with the wrong person and are then blinded for a long time, ignoring those other fish that are within our reach. My Mr. B is just the same – sharing a house, mortgage and business with his not yet ex wife. He stays silent when I ask, if you hate her so much why can’t you divorce her? He explains it’s all about the money. When I go out with friends, he gets furious. Because he CAN go places with the wife or see friends but I CAN’T because I’m “his”. But he’s not “mine.” I’ve fallen in love before realizing how complicated this is. He promises me a beautiful future together, but at the same time, he’s not so quick at leaving his current life behind. They just want to have their cake and eat it too. Someone recently told me that in a situation like this, the man is just incapable of loving. The current woman, or the ex, or the woman he occasionally dates. Sad but true. Today, after refusing to sex skype with him, he almost immediately ended the call and seemed angry (this followed a small fight where again, the wife and divorce came into the picture. No talk from him, no sex from me) making me question, does he want me as a whole? Kudos to you for making the right decision to walk away. I’m still not strong enough to do so myself.


  2. Staying Anonymous says:

    Well I wasn’t with him long enough to become too attached. I knew once he told me that he was living with his ex there would always be trust issues. Still I went ahead for a few weeks, enjoyed our time together.

    Liked by 1 person

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