Nice Guys Get Bad Raps

I think I am getting the hang of this.

Dating in your forties isn’t easy…. not that dating in your teens, twenties, thirties or fifties (and up) is a piece of cake either.

It’s just… different.

In your twenties, you have a late dinner, followed by an even later movie. Or you have a late dinner and hit the club to dance the night away.

In your forties? If you start a movie any later than 9:00pm there’s a good chance one, or both of you, will fall asleep before it ends.

And a double feature? Forget about it. Unless you start at 6:00pm.

Mr. M. and I have had our share of late nights… the first night together went until about 4am. Lots of talking and cuddling and sharing til we finally had to say goodnight to get some sleep.

We’ve only had one weekday sleepover. Just one. We’ve done a few on the weekends of course, but on a school night?


So instead he might stop over on his way home from work, and we may have a little ‘afternoon delight’ before my roommate gets home. Thankfully that can be as late at 6:30pm so we have a little time together.

I finally realized though that it doesn’t always have to be all about sex. I mean, Mr. M. stopped by my place for a quick dinner on Wednesday, and there was no sex involved. He showed up, had something to eat, we chatted, then he left at ten o’clock.

Perfectly respectable.

Last Friday he did the same thing; spur of the moment came by, picked me up, we drove around for a bit then went to dinner. He dropped me back at my place just before eleven.

He didn’t come in.

And I’m okay with that.

Which surprises me.

I am one of those girls that used to equate sex with love. “If he has sex with me then of course I mean something to him.”

Yep – that girl.

Until I myself had a friend with benefits (FWB). Then I learned that you can be friends and just have sex. It has to be with someone you trust, and there is always the chance that someone (or both) will get hurt.

I still have doubts. As each day passes I wonder if he is going to wake up and decide he wants to see what (and who) else is out there.

But I have to take each day as it comes. If it does happen, I can’t stop it. I just have to trust that it won’t.

Wow. Trust. There’s a word you don’t see too often on my blog.

Because Mr. M. is a nice guy.

And nice guys seem to get bad raps.

On Saturday afternoon and evening, he spent time with his ex-wife and her elderly great-aunt and uncle, who were passing through town on their way to visit family.

He didn’t have to go, I’m sure. They were divorced six years ago; and it’s not like these people are his in-laws.

But, he went. As he said it was probably the last time he would see them since they are in their late 70s.

Some women might get upset that he chose to go, but I am not. I think it speaks to his character to want to see people who used to be family.

Who still are family, especially to his two sons.

Because these people are still his son’s great-aunt and uncle. And to spend just a few hours visiting with them shows great respect.

And to me, that really says a lot about a man’s character.

So let the other women drool over the ‘bad boys’. Let them deal with all the crap that comes along with it.

I have had my share of bad boys and frankly? I think this one Nice Guy is worth a hundred (or more) bad boys.



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