Date Night

I went on a date last night.

Well, I didn’t call it a date.

Here’s how it played out: Mr. M, with whom I’ve been chatting since Friday, made mention of a restaurant in town we both enjoy as we were texting last night.

So during our chat I mentioned that now I was craving it.

So he replied, ‘let’s go!”.

Likely joking. But I replied, ‘sure!’.

So I went. We met. We had dinner.

I was extremely nervous going to meet him. It was really difficult for me to put Mr. R. out of my head for an evening and not think about him. I started to get depressed but pushed it out of my mind and just focused on going out and being social.

Mr. M (confused yet?) told me he was nervous as he hadn’t been out on a date in a long time.

So I told him to relax; it’s not a date. It’s just two friends getting together for dinner.

And he appreciated that.

I didn’t do the whole date ritual – you know, fresh shower, sexy undies, fresh makeup, perfume (okay, I did that), etc.

I just brushed my hair, changed my clothes, freshened my makeup and left the house.

We met up at the restaurant and enjoyed dinner. Talked a lot. I could tell that he was nervous, but he can carry a conversation.

He’s nice looking, fit – I liked the look of his biceps through his t-shirt. Not going to lie about that.

Was there a spark? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about anything anymore. I actually wondered if maybe that is my problem – that I don’t know my own feelings. That maybe I work best as friends and not in a relationship.


So after he paid for the meal (I offered, he declined), she shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now.”

And of course on the tip of my tongue I wanted to say, “well, we go to my house, we have sex, then you go home”. Just to see the look of fear on his face. I could tell he really wasn’t sure what to do.

So we walked to our cars – it turns out he parked right next to me.

We talked about our homes – he as a roommate. Just as I do.

His roommate has the master bedroom. Just as mine does.

And he loves the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. (He got a high-five for that one.)

We talked about other movies and it was good, almost better than being at dinner. A few comments of his made me smile… I could see he was more relaxed.

He had told me, prior to our meeting, that he doesn’t drink alcohol.

At all.

I asked him flat-out if he was in recovery and he said no. He just doesn’t drink. Going on 11 years now he said.

He did say that one women he talked with on the site couldn’t handle that. She enjoyed having a glass of wine with someone. Which of course led us to discuss how wine drinkers have become a kind of cult.

My only question about his non-drinking was if it bothered him if others did. And he told me that once a week he goes to a bar with coworkers and everyone else drinks and he sticks to water.  He was at a cottage this past weekend and everyone was drinking but him.

Which is good. Not that I myself am a huge drinker but I am socially. If I’m at a cottage with people then I will have a couple of drinks. But I rarely drink by myself. And even less when I am out for dinner – just too cheap, I guess.

So for me, the non-drinking is not much of an issue. If he was in recovery it would be different, as some people who enjoy a drink or two would feel uncomfortable drinking around him so as to not tempt him.

I can work with that.

Otherwise, I can’t complain. He was good company, so if nothing else, if there’s no spark – or if he feels a better connection with someone else – then I’d like to be his friend.

Everyone needs more friends.

Especially me.

Especially now.





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