Confusion is Nothing New

Apologies to Cyndi Lauper.

Last night I met up with Mr. R again, this time in my city. He is here teaching his course today and tomorrow, so he came into town yesterday afternoon to set up his equipment at the training facility and to hang out with me. I took the afternoon off work and we had lunch, did some sightseeing and then hung out together for the rest of the day.

And I am so confused.

This time he didn’t mention the fact that he is unavailable. But, everything was PG. Well, okay, a few times in discussion we may have crossed the line into R-rated conversation, but there was no hanky. No panky.

Not even a kiss goodbye other than on the cheek.

He’s interested in more than friendship, of that I am pretty sure. After our lunch and walk downtown we stopped to buy some drinks and go back to the hotel room to hang out, since the weather had turned and thunderstorms were happening.

We chatted and then as I sat in a chair he wheeled the office chair over and picked up my foot, and proceeded to give me a mind numbing foot rub.

Oh yes. It was that good.

It’s been so long since I’ve had human contact that way. That simple, mindless foot rub while talking and drinking.

Oh how I missed it.

From there we moved to the couch where he gave me a full back massage – fully clothed, I must add.

I repeat: there was no hanky panky of any kind.

But it was intimate, I won’t deny, sitting in the crook of his legs as he rubbed my back, commenting on how I have such a tiny waist, lovely shoulders.

He was definitely full of compliments.

Especially when he would not stop biting my neck, which is a thing of his.

(And I won’t say what his biting my neck physically did to me)

Do men compliment women like that if they just want to be friends with them?

The more I think about it, the more certain I am that he never said he was unavailable. He didn’t repeat anything about our ‘timing not being quite right’.

As I was almost falling asleep from the drinks and the massage, we decided to go for a swim. So on went the swimsuits and we headed down to the pool….

…which was filled to the brim with 10-year old kids in town on a school trip.

So instead we went into the sauna for a few minutes – as long as I could stand, and then we headed back upstairs.

This time I was my turn to massage him.

He was fully complementary and appreciated my efforts. We sat in silence as I massaged his shoulders, back, arms.

And no hanky panky.

Then finally at 10 pm he apologized but said he had to kick me out so he could do some work and then go to bed at a decent hour.

So I thanked him for the day, gave him a hug, he kissed my cheeks and gave me a big hug in return, and then I left.

Maybe I am just so used to the fast-paced world we live in where people jump into bed so quickly that I have forgotten the lost art of dating?

Is that what he is doing? If I had not swiped the lunch bill he would have paid, as he has paid for all the meals when we’ve been together.

But yet when I suggest we meet in a city next weekend when he is travelling to do some sightseeing together, he changes the subject. Even if I we each took our own rooms that would be fine. I just like spending time together, and I think it would be nice to explore this little town together.

Yet so far, he is not agreeing to it, or to when we may see each other again. It’s almost like he has to justify the reason we see each other. The previous two times I was going to his city for valid reasons; now he is here on business. If this keeps up, I might not see him for another few months.

I don’t want to wait that long but also don’t want to seem desperate. I am trying to keep the friendship level because I don’t know what is going on with us. I mean, if this is how he treats his friends, how must be treat his girlfriends?

I just want a definition. Just say, “I am single now, and interested in dating you but I want to take things slow. Does that work for you?”

I mean, really – is that too much to ask?

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